Pickles: Briny Little Hang-Over Cures
When I woke up on Saturday, I did not feel so good.
This is sort of how I looked.
I drank a bottle of malbec + a few glasses of whatever else I managed to pour into my cup. It hit me pretty hard I guess because I could barely get out of bed the next morning. My boyfriend and my friend who had crashed on my living room floor were up and ready for breakfast. I was in the fetal position on the floor. Somehow, I managed to get into the car and we headed for Morty’s Delicatessen on Wisconsin Ave. My bus goes past this place everyday, but I had never noticed it before. It looks like a hole-in-wall from the outside, but it’s actually a pretty big restaurant.
As we walked in, we noticed a deli counter on our left. Apparently they had all sorts of shit, like cow’s tongues. Thank god I wasn’t really paying attention, otherwise I would thrown up right there on the floor.
Immediately after we were seated, this little lady brought us water. But it wasn’t her promptness that surprised me…it was the fact that she also brought us a bowl of pickles. The bowl was a mixture of some bright green, new pickles and older, more briny pickles.
We sort of just sat there in shock for a while…who the hell gives you a bowl of pickles??? Even though I felt sick, I grabbed one of the new pickles and took a little bite. It was delicious. Crispy and garlicy. Maybe five minutes after I tried the pickle, I started feeling better.
Does this person look hung-over? No. This person is me post-pickle.
Our waiter, a badass bro named Sami came over and took our orders…with his arms crossed and hair spiked. Sami seemed tough…but he really hooked us up. My bf got like..four scrambled eggs…four pieces of toast and home fries for $3.50. This may have been a mistake, but thanks Sami. I had the California fruit salad (pineapple, cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes, strawberries and cottage cheese.) It was…the biggest plate of fresh fruit I have ever seen. My friend got a mushroom omelette with fries, which according to her was pretty good.
I’d say, Morty’s is a pretty cool place. The food is good and relatively cheap and they give you PICKLES! If you’re hung-over, pickles may sound pretty disgusting, but maybe you should give it a try.
—Kal
